PSA (PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT) #105: PROVIDING IMBALANCED, QUASI-ACCURATE AND INSENSITIVE NEIGHBORHOOD NEWS.
With the Covid virus and its’ mutations still spreading, including the newest Prince Howard variant, the neighborhood was delighted to be able to get Covid testing, as well as an assortment of vaccines at the new QT Neighborhood convenience store that opened just in time for Halloween.
As we all know, getting vaccinated goes a long way in reducing the effects and spread of Covid. Yes, you can get the vaccine at your doctor’s office, and yes, you can get it at certain pharmacies and other healthcare facilities. But why not make it hugely available and convenient by providing the vaccine when you go to fill up your tank or buy some nachos?
QT Neighborhood, the new smaller footprint version of their larger stores, opened its first store in our neighborhood – and offered not only Covid testing, but a variety of Covid vaccines – all administered by TRAINED CASHIERS! That’s right – no waiting, no scheduling appointments! Buy a Twinkie – get a vaccine!
Last night, cashiers Kenneth and Fredrick offered their time and energies to ring up sales, clean the restrooms, and administer testing and vaccines. QT Neighborhood offered three vaccine choices: Pfizer, Moderna, and Clorox, which according to a reputable online forum (wedontneednostinkingvaccine.com) is particularly effective against the Prince Howard variant.
If you are still unsure of the direct benefits of getting vaccinated, proof positive is evidenced from our careful testing and trials. Duh.
In order to meet CDC guidelines, the only requirement was to sign a short medical disclaimer form by answering three simple questions:
- I am of sound mind
- I have not been to Zamunda in the last 3 years
- I am at least 5 years in age
Fair enough! Kenneth and Fredrick, conscientious hourly workers, completed and signed the forms ahead of time, for the convenience of their customers.
How does it get more convenient than to be able to get tested and vaccinated while out trick or treating on Halloween! Thank you, QT Neighborhood!
Speaking of Halloween, young gremlins and other unsavory characters were wandering out around the hood last night. Some of them even had the nerve to visit the haunted house next door.
Perhaps next year this time the technology will have advanced sufficiently such that we will be able to exorcise the virus instead of administering a vaccine; we’ll just need to hire a priest. Let’s just hope by next year this is not still an issue.
Stay safe – and get a damned vaccine!