I must be getting my period.
While it would not be uncommon for me to blow a little sunshine up your skirt, I woke up yesterday and, well, things weren’t right. I went for a walk, which always, normally, is a good thing. It seems I woke up with my glass half empty.
We were camped at a very nice campground. Our site was right on the lake. It was private, quiet; serene… really, it was wonderful. And yet still, there lurked in this sick mind of mine something that was not adding up.
After traipsing around, I started to realize what had been bothering me. No! No, not no, but the word no – or its derivative, like don’t do this or don’t do that – you know, the opposite of yes. Suddenly it was apparent that the source of my funk was all the instructions posted all over the campground telling me what not to do. I am not unfamiliar with the word no. I spent a career in sales and I heard the word no an awful lot.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am a rule follower. I realize rules are in place to make and keep me safe. I don’t smoke. I don’t ride horses in the park. I only drive one way. I don’t do a lot of sh*t. But when faced at every turn with a new rule about what NOT to do, I started to go on the defensive.
On the flip side, we were coming through New Hampshire the other day and there were signs promoting the use of seat belts. Now I am a big fan of seat belts. The sign said, “BUCKLE UP. LIVE TO DO GREAT THINGS”. Now to me, that was inspiring. I wanted to double buckle up!
Intellectually, I know these signs are meant for my own safety and the overall enjoyment of everyone. None-the-less, the cumulative effect on me had me a bit verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. To be honest, I’d probably put up the same signs if I were in charge, but would be happy to hear any your suggestions.
Meanwhile, tonight, at another campground, I was informed (by Captain Loop of the Pet Free Loop Committee) as I walked Dottie around that I was walking her in a loop that was“pet free” I am buying a winning lottery ticket tomorrow and buying 10,000 acres in Montana.
Now back to our regularly scheduled program.
Reminds me of an old song!
And the sign says, “Long-haired freaky people need not apply.”
So I tucked all my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why.
He said “You look like a fine, upstanding young man – I think you’ll do.”
So I took off my hat and said, “Imagine that! Huh… me, working for you!” Woah-oh-oh.
Chorus:
Signs, Signs, Everywhere there’s signs.
Blocking out the scenery. Breaking my mind.
Do this! Don’t do that! Can’t you read the signs?
And the sign says, “Anybody caught trespassing will be shot on sight”
So I jumped on fence and I yelled at the house,
“Hey! What gives you the right… To put up a fence to keep me out,
“Or to keep Mother Nature in?
“If God was here, He’d tell it to your face. ‘Man, you’re some kind of sinner.'”
Chorus:
Signs, Signs, Everywhere there’s signs.
Blocking out the scenery. Breaking my mind.
Do this! Don’t do that! Can’t you read the signs?
Dude, your bringing me down. “Signs, Signs, everywhere a sign. Do this don’t do that, Can’t you read the signs.” Famous lyrics….thanks for sharing your joy. What are you going to do next, email us a fart?
Sorry, Homer.
Dude, you’re bringing me down. “Signs, signs, everywhere a sign. do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the signs” Famous lyrics….thanks for sharing your joy. What are you going to do next, email us a phart?